I've dithered and procrastinated so much over this post but even if my story helps just one other person it will be worth sharing.

Earlier this year, aged 50 I was officially diagnosed with autism. It’s come as the most enormous relief, and it’s been positively life changing to finally understand why I am the way I am and to finally have answers.

My diagnosis followed a difficult and drawn-out period of what I now understand to be severe burn out resulting in a breakdown last year. I feel like I’ve found the missing jigsaw piece of my life. I’ve spent the past 18 months down a neurodiversity rabbit hole and learned as much as I could.

I’m still processing the fact that I’ve been autistic my whole life. Reframing so many experiences and situations. Looking back it makes absolute sense now. Of course, I am! How did it take me so long to realise?!

I’ve always had mental health struggles. I knew I experienced and processed life differently from most people but never knew why. With the awareness we have today, my autism now seems so obvious, but it wasn’t. Honestly it's been bloody hard. Exhausting. Life felt so difficult, alien and confusing at times.

Growing up in the 70s, 80s and 90s, of course neurodiversity and autism existed just as it does today but was believed to be a condition only affecting boys. Even then, they had to be either nonverbal or stereotypical maths geniuses for the condition to be recognised. Girls and women naturally work harder at masking (this happens without realising – I thought everyone did this and I was just very bad at it!). Girls will try harder to fit in, to be accepted, to go unnoticed and to be liked.

This endless effort to hide traits has massive implications for mental health, and very often women will develop destructive coping mechanisms - self-medication with alcohol and drugs, eating disorders, self-harm. I’ve discovered that are a LOT of us (men too) of my generation, who, like me, have struggled through life, misdiagnosed and misunderstood.

If you're still reading, I’m happy to say that I am in now a good place. As you all know, I have an enormous passion for wellbeing, so sharing my story was a natural and important step in my journey to helping others.

I’m beyond grateful for the support and acceptance of my family, friends and clients who have been on this journey with me. Your validation has meant everything. You know who you are.

I look forward to continuing the fitness and wellbeing work I love so much. I also look forward to raising awareness, being more open and vocal about autism, ASD and neurodiversity and hopefully supporting and working with more wonderful autistic and neurodiverse people!

If any part of this resonates with you, I’d love to hear from you.

Vicky x